squeaky wheel

I am quite privileged to be living with a person who is not only extremely thoughtful but is also an educator. So you can imagine what a lot of our conversations revolve around (aside from whether or not we should go eat pho. The answer is always yes.).

One great thing that I get from talking about my day or about teaching in general has been the mirror that M will hold up in front of me to help me gain clarity on a particular issue.

Most recently, I've been noticing how negative I'd become. I'd been stressing out over the kids in my class who are disruptive and require a lot of my energy. How do I engage them? What am I doing wrong? How do I convince them that what we're doing is something they'll gain satisfaction from and ultimately enjoy doing?

Not easy questions. And while I'm not saying that these aren't important questions to ask, I found them to be all-consuming. I came home frustrated and disappointed in myself. Nothing kills your mood than having spent the whole day shushing kids and putting on a stern, serious face. Not very satisfying.

So this past week I'd decided to harness my energy elsewhere. Why let the squeaky wheelers get my attention? For each kid who is acting up, there are five who are engaged, are being respectful, and do have fun.

My switch in humor became abundantly clear one day when I was waiting for students to line up to go to lunch. A number of kids were horsing around, talking, and not paying attention to what I was saying. I decided to use a line one of my lead teachers often uses: I am feeling disrespected. Upon saying this, one student exclaimed, You're respected, Miss Vi!

Oh man! The moment this student said that, I realized my big mistake: By concentrating so much on the bad, I was missing the good.

Also, I felt icky after making that statement that centered around me. I don't want them to do things to please me. I want them to understand how their behavior affects the class and that yes, it is disrespectful to disregard what I am saying, but not as a teacher but as an individual.

In my hand little notebook that I try to carry around with me, I've been writing the positive things that go on around me...and there are plenty of them.

Some examples:
- Seeing new and unexpected friendships begin to bud.
- Student M and N are playing on the playground. M does a split and touches her head to the ground. M asks N if she can touch the ground with her head. N says yes, picks up woodchips in her hand and dumps them on her head.
- D, who began the year hating the concept of school, walking away from one activity saying, "I love reading."
- K skipping around the blacktop chanting, "I'm a beautiful pony"
- Banana tag! I love this game. Everyone is it and you chase anyone down. If both people tag each other at the same time, you roshambo (rock paper scissors). The loser sits down and can't get up until the person who got them gets tagged. Kids love it too.
- Doing yoga in a reading group. One book described how animals influence yoga poses. Nothing's cuter than five 1st graders lying on the ground doing the fish pose.

List goes on and on...which is why I wanted to become a teacher! I just needed the reminder.